One Of Those Nights

I hate those nights when you just can't sleep. Last night was one of those nights for me. Brandon stayed up playing a game and normally I can fall asleep alone but not last night. I waited and waited for him then when he did come to bed Taya needed to go outside. Then she kept me up cause she needed water, and I heard air planes all night, and the baby woke up a few times (thankfully went back to sleep without needing me). Every sound in my house kept me awake. I was way tired but couldn't get my stupid brain to shut down. I probably only got about 2 hours of sleep and that is not in a row. Then I got up at 4:30 to exercise. Agony. I wanted to cry. I had taken 4 days off and eaten like crap so exercising was very hard. If I hadn't had Tia there to motivate me I probably would have just called it quits and gone home 15 minutes into exercising. I cannot take a ton of days off like that. It kills me.

Feelin Good!

I have been off my depression medication since we went to the dunes and I feel great!! I have tried a few times to get off them but when I try my body gets thrown all out of whack. I become soooo emotional, irritable, and just not a good person to be around. I have been keeping a close eye on my emotions just in case I start to lose control again and I haven't had any problems yet! Gives me hope! I hate taking pills and already take so many vitamins so that extra little pill was just another annoyance to me. I can honestly say that I think the reason I feel so great is from exercising like I have! I was reading my Oxygen Magazine and it had a section on exercise and its relation to mood. I have always known that when you exercise it kicks in endorphins and helps promote a good mood but reading it at that precise moment suddenly made my light bulb click! I have tried to exercise since being pregnant but for me I can't force myself to work 'hard' unless I am in a gym. Maybe that's why I have needed my Zoloft for so long. Even my doctor was pretty surprised I was still needing refills. I love exercising! I always have. It makes me feel so great knowing that my muscles are growing and I am getting stronger and healthier! I want to be a healthy person. I want to be around a long time for my kids and my grandkids and the only way I can do that is by pushing myself. Yes, 4:30 am is early and some days I would rather just stay in bed but when I get to the gym and push myself..... it makes the rest of my day go so much better.