BitterSweet

Today, my grandma passed away at 7:55 am. I got a call at 8am from my mom. I was able to watch as the cleaned her body and took her to the mortuary. I was even allowed to paint her fingernails one last time! I've spent all day with my mom to comfort her. I am filled with peace that my grandma is finally happy and with my grandpa but for my own selfish reasons I wish I had more time with her. I love her and I will miss her sweet spirit. Rest in peace in the loving arms of grandpa and all those who were there to great you on the other side!

Grandma Baird

I have been taking care of grandma Baird for over a year and a half now. She fell in December and hurt her side and ever since then she has gone down hill. Right now she is to the point where she is completely bedridden, hasn't eaten in over a month really (other than a few bites of pudding here or there), doesn't drink much, is talking to those beyond the veil, and is being sedated most of the time to keep her comfortable. I am not diggin this whole family members dying every year. It better not continue. Thankfully my grandma has lived a very full and long life. She is 93 and has done so much. Knowing that has not made it much easier to watch I admit. Being around her, taking care of her, watching as she declines almost daily brings back watching my dad pass. So many difficult emotions. It is all very bittersweet to me. I want her to pass so she can be reunited with my grandpa, whom she has not seen in over 8 years but I want to keep her here for my own selfish reasons. She is truly a great woman.
As of Tuesday I no longer 'work'/ care for her during the day. That was a little scary to have that kind of dropped on me. I was very aware that it was coming but wasn't expecting it so soon. Thankfully, I know everything will workout and we will find away to make things work. Instead of taking care of her in the day I decided that since my poor sweet mom gets NO sleep (grandma seems to wake up at nights and gets severely agitated so my mom never gets good sleep), I would come over during the evenings and let my mom take a break and try to get some sleep in. Last night was my first night doing that and I think my mom got 4-5 straight hours of sleep!! She doesn't normally get that so when I talked to her today she said she felt like a new woman! That's what I like to hear! If I can give her just a tiny break so she can sleep or even do something else other than worry about my grandma, I will be happy!
Last night, I felt proud of myself. I changed my grandma's 'diaper' by myself, gave her a suppository by myself, and gave her her medication all by myself. The medication wasn't hard but the other two were a little more challenging. But I did them! Even though I know it kills my grandma to have to have these things done I was happy to do them. Made me feel like I was showing her love in trying to keep her clean and comfortable. Is that weird?! Who cares if it is. I still felt good about it. Once I gave her the meds she started to drift off to sleep but when she was almost all the way asleep, she would jump and get so scared. She told me she didn't want to fall asleep because she is scared. I kneeled down by her bed, put her hand to my heart while her other hand wrapped around me tightly, and looked into her foggy eyes and began telling her that she doesn't need to worry. That her parents are watching over her and they can't wait to greet her with loving open arms. That when they see her they are going to embrace her and tell her what a wonderful job she did and how much they have missed her and love her. (Even writing about this makes my heart swell! ) I proceeded to tell her that grandpa is waiting to see her too. That he can't wait to hold her in his arms and hug her and whisper in her ear how much he's missed her and how they will never ever be parted again! By this time, I had tears streaming down my cheeks. I believe this is true. I got such a clear picture of the whole scenario in my mind while I was telling her it. I almost felt like I was prompted to tell her.
Death is very difficult but it can also be such a testimony builder and a wonderful spiritual experience! I'm glad I've had the opportunity to care for her!

22 Week Appointment

I had my 22 week appointment even though I am 23 weeks. The babies have moved positions completely! Both are head down right in my pelvis (which makes me have to pee constantly) and they have switched sides. Interesting how that happened in only a week! The little girl is 1lb 3 oz and the boy is 1 lb 7 oz! They are both doing excellent! When the doctor showed the heart beats Sawyer ran up to the monitor and said "My babies!" So cute! I am suppose to be drinking 1 full gallon of water a day since I have been having horrible cramping. A gallon is a TON! Talk about having to go to the bathroom constantly! I also got weighed and I have gained 13 lbs already. Ugh. That sounds like sooo much. And I will probably gain about 30+ more she says. Interesting.
I went to my first Relief Society in my ward this week and got to talk to a few other ladies who have had twins. It was so nice to get some advice from people who have been through it. I got some advice on nursing, scheduling, strollers, and a few other things that I had questions about. It was really helpful!!

23 Weeks

Here I am at 23 weeks. I am huge and its only going to get bigger!

Little Late But...

So these pics were from Christmas but just found them. Better late then never right!

I had my mom paint my belly for Christmas and Sawyer loved the idea so he got his done too!

Jazz Game

Last night we went to the Jazz game with our friends Bryant and Liz! I haven't been to a Jazz game in ages and it was awesome! When we got there we had Thurl Bailey take a pic with us....He even rubbed my belly for luck! We went to our seats and watched the game and the best part of the whole thing was when the Jazz Bear took out a Cavalier fan! The fan had a sign that said "Jazz Stink" on it so the bear got two things of silly string and just covered the guy. That pretty much started it all. Then the bear got a huge sign that said "I'm a loser" on it and went and stood behind the guy so when the camera went to the guy, he could see the big sign behind him! He got all pissed and pushed the Bear. I mean really? Who does that? The security came to escort him out and the bear got the guys hat, took it to the center of the court and jumped on it. The fan got away from security and went full boar after him and the bear just stood there and the guy went flying on his back! It was AWESOME!! Made me friggin night! Jazz won so that was a plus!

Fun date night! Thanks guys for letting us come with you!

Official!

It is now 100% official we are having a baby BOY and a baby GIRL! I asked the ultrasound tech about 5 times if she was 100% sure it was a girl and she said Absolutely! I am so excited to be getting one of each I can't even begin to explain! I would have been happy with anything but one of each is so magical! It was funny to watch and see where the babies are. The boy is sitting really low with his head at my left side of my pelvis and feet going across to the right side (and kicking my bladder) and the little girl is up above him with her head to my far right side and feet that go to about the middle of my belly. In the ultrasound we got to see the 4D and that was amazing! The little girl showed us herself pretty well but it was more difficult to see the boy. We did see that the girl wraps her leg around the boy and puts her tiny bum in his face a lot though! It was funny but at the same time I was thinking "my poor little boy!!" It was awesome to see them and hear that they are both growing very well. They are around 1 pound 3 ounces and 10 inches long. Amazing!
I have bought our little boy a few things like a blanket, a small blanket with an elephant head, and tiny little booties so I decided I wanted to get something for the girl too. I bought her an adorable and soft PINK blankie and a onesie that has a cupcake on the bum! I did buy the boy a onesie with a pirate on his bum too! I was in heaven shopping for girls clothes though! Sooo much more adorable things to choose from. I am surprised I didn't go ape and buy more. All in good time though! I am so happy to have two healthy babies and to know the sex of BOTH of them. I am so dang excited!!

Gear Part 2

My friend Camie told me about a few awesome deals and thought I would share them as well! I was able to get a nursing cover from UdderCovers.com free minus the cost of shipping. All you do is go to the websit, pick the cover and enter the PROMO code SEVEN! Another awesome site with the same deal but for cute baby slings is Sevenslings.com with the PROMO code UTAH. They have some adorable stuff! Happy Shopping!

Gear

So I am trying to decide on what baby gear we still are in need of. Thankfully, we can use Sawyer's old infant car seat still so we only have to buy one more carseat. That is a relief. The difficult thing right now is strollers! I don't know which stroller would be best a double tandem front/back stroller or a double side by side. (Not actual strollers I am considering. Just examples)

There are pros and cons to both so I am struggling trying to decide which will fit our needs the best. A problem I see with a tandem one is that when the kids get older I don't want to have one kid kicking the one in front and the other screaming about it! I'm sure that will get on my nerves quickly! The problem I see with the side by side is that it is so wide how can I fit it easily through doors or store isles?! I am just clueless as to which would be better. Brandon wants the side by side but I am just not sure.

Also, I am planning on nursing for as long as I can (crossing my fingers it will be at least 9 months) and I have a boppy pillow but with things I have been reading they aren't nearly large enough to support two babies. There is another pillow thing like it but much larger. Most people who have used it have found it very useful.

I am also thinking about making my own nursing cover. I had one when I nursed Sawyer but lost it within a week of having it. Ugh. I found a website with a decent patern and directions so I am going to try it and maybe make some improvements! My friend Tia started to teach me how to crochet last night. All the work I did which wasn't much and took lots of time, I have to go back and unravel cause I did it wrong! It was kinda fun though. Think I will keep at it and see what kinds of things I can creat! May as well!

I have been hearing about a band that you use post-pregnancy that helps "shrink your tummy" and I am seriously thinking about getting one! I am huge already and still have 4 more months so I know its going to be difficult shrinking back to 'normal'. Its called the Belly Bandit!

Might not hurt to try right?! I am going to be canceling my gym membership since I haven't gone since October and that was only once since I was so sick the 1st part of my pregnancy. I do want to go but between watching my gma (who is doing much worse), having a 2 year old, and wanting to spend time with my husband when he gets home at nights I just don't have the time. And when the babies come..... There is just NO way I will be able to get to the gym for the first say 2 years! So why keep paying. Sigh. I love the gym but its just not worth it right now. Its always a sad thing to get rid of your gym pass. Hopefully I can find some time to start walking though. After things kind of slow down.

Oh This Life

I remember being young and for the most part 'carefree'. Lately, I have found myself wanting to go back to those carefree moments at times. Being an adult and having so much responsibility is a blessing but is also very overwhelming at times. I remember seeing my parents struggle financially, emotionally, mentally, and at times spiritually but I never gave it much thought. I never worried about why they were struggling but now being a parent, a wife, a caretaker, a cook, a housekeeper, a home owner, and so many other things I am realizing how tough it can be to be an adult. So many worries and struggles to go through. I am grateful that I have a testimony of Heavenly Father though. I think at times that is the only way I am able to keep going. At times it does seem like he is pushing me to that very fine line but I am always able to conquer the challenges I've been faced with with His help. I am also grateful to be a wife of such a great man! He works so hard so I am able to stay home and be with our children. He's a true gift and blessing in my life. I am grateful to be a mom! Its difficult some days but I would never give it up for the world. Sawyer has made my life so joyous and filled it with so much love and laughter! I can't wait for the twins to be born too! I admit I have been pretty nervous about it but am also so thrilled! What a great experience it will be to add these two little blessings to our little brood!

Happy New Year!

This New Year's Eve wasn't as fun as some we've had in previous years. Brandon, Sawyer, and I were all sicker than dogs! We rung in the New Year coughing, sneezing, fevered, achy, and just plain blah. Even though we were sick, Brandon bought us some tasty food to munch on so we had our own little Schramm Family Sick on New Year's Eve party! Got to eat crackers and cheese ball, shrimp, cocktail franks, veggie tray, chocolate, and good ol Sparkling Cider! As soon as 12:30 came around we were in bed! So not much excitement but it was nice being together as a family! I just hope this year is a great year! I know its going to be nuts but hopefully it is a great one too!