Life Altering Weekend

This weekend was one of the hardest weekends I've gone through emotially in my life. My dad was put in the hospital because on Saturday morning he had such excruciating pain in his neck that he couldn't move his entire body. My step-mom and two step-sisters were able to load him into the car and take him to the hospital. Once there they took an MRI but were unable to do from his neck up because of his pain. They found that the nerves in his neck were so inflamed and putting such pressure on his spine that if they didn't reduce the inflamation his spine would crack under the pressure. They also found from the waist up that his cancer was everywhere. He has it in his hips up to the top of his neck. The ER doctor was worried because it was lung cancer and if it had reached his brain said he wouldn't have much time. What a devastating phrase to hear. They were able to give him some pain medication and help him relax through the night. We got there early to see him Sunday morning and after the pain medication he seemed to almost be his old self. Cracking jokes, buggin the nurses, and teasing all of us! They took him in for another MRI that day to check his neck and brain but wouldn't give us the results until his doctor got back Monday morning. The waiting game is the worst. Not knowing anything leaves you feeling so helpless. When his doctor got there Monday morning he kinda kept skirting the issues so we had to ask exactly what was going on. He told us my dad has lung cancer that has spread very rapidly to his bones from his hips to the top of his spine. He is already at a Stage 4, which means it is terminal. The "average" life expectancy is 8 months. 8 months.... you never realize how short time is until someone puts a limit on it. We are all praying he is one of those miracles and lasts many many more years. They say that radiation will help to mend the bones in his neck & help slow the cancer reaching his brain but Chemo will not cure his cancer. It may prolong his life. The Chemo will be very difficut to endure because of the side effects and it will be 3 weeks of misery, one week off trying to recover, then another 3 weeks on and so on and so forth. Some people ask if its worth the pain and torture for him to go through.... call me selfish but I say HECK YES! I'm only 23, I'm not ready to lose my father.

He started his radiation treatments Monday and will do them everyday for 10 days then will begin his Chemo. I never thought that anything like this would ever happen to our family. I always imagined both of my parents being around until they were very old and being able to watch my kids grow up and get married. I never thought that at any moment they could be taken from me. Makes you really stop and think about the time you have left and just how precious it truely is. Its so hard to think that my dad may not be here long enough to see any of my children grow up but I pray he will be here for my sons birth. He is such a strong man and his attitude toward his life trial is one that inspires hope! I feel confident he will be here when my son arrives.

I know that the Lord gives us obstacles in our lives to help us grow. Its just hard to see the light through the darkness at times. I heard a wonderful quote by Orson Whitney, 1855-1931, which reads: No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called the children of God and it is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulations, that we gain the education that we come here to acquire and which will make us more like our Father and Mother in heaven.

I feel so lucky to have the family that I do. I love each and everyone of them with all of my heart. I am so grateful to know the plan of salvation and to know that families truely can be together forever. Knowing those things gives me a feeling of peace.

Remember to take time with those you love and to tell them often just how much you care. You never know when they may leave this world without hearing you tell them how much you love them. For all of you who take the time to read this know that I love you dearly and wish you the all the good and wonderful things in this life! May the Lord bless each of you!

Below are some picture of the radiation process my dad is going through.