What To Do

This last week I feel like I am constantly on edge, tired, anxious, and restless. Last night I thought I was going to go insane if I didn't DO something so I decided to try to clean my closet. After I got done with that I finally took down all of my Halloween stuff {Only a month late} and started trying to put up my Christmas stuff. Its hard cause I want to be in the Christmas mood but I can't seem to get into it. I love Christmas and its making me sad that I can't get into it. I was trying to make my house look festive but feel so empty and ugly on the inside I couldn't put things together to make them look nice. I can't seem to get my head on straight. I try to keep busy so my thoughts won't drift to my dad but they always seem to and my heart just aches.
I found a lot of my old Kraft foods magazines I use to get and have found tons of delicious recipes I want to make but I can't even muster up the energy to make them. I don't know what to do with myself. I feel so alone and lost.
I haven't been sleeping well at night the past week either. Been having horrible dreams. Last night for instance, I had a dream that there were 3 demons that would attack Sawyer when it was dark. He had to always be in the light or they would hurt him. I tried to put a night light in his room to keep him in some light and I saw the 'demons' shadows and they scared the snot out of me. It left me with such a dark hollow feeling. These are the types of dreams I have been having lately. Anyone surprised I am so moody?!
I know things will get better I just need to stay positive. I need to force myself to put on a smile and keep putting one foot in front of the other....... *sigh* Sounds a lot easier than its going to be I am afraid. BUT I CAN DO IT! I am going to keep going.