Still Hard Times/My Sweet Husband

My dad is slipping more and more everyday. He is now in a hospice bed too weak to get up and down. Not even to go to the restroom. Ever since we found out that the cancer has moved to his brain, I have been up to see him every single day. I am glad that I have been able to go up and spend time with him like I have. I have been able to give him head massages, tickle his face, and just hold his hand and hope that he can feel my love for him. It has been rough just standing by and watching him deteriorate every day though. He has only had 2 bites of food and maybe 4 sips of water the past two days. He is refusing to take his oral medication as well. He acts like he is in horrific pain but he won't take anything to help. Its heart breaking to watch him suffering like he is. At times when he looks at me, he seems to be looking past me or through me. I am not sure if he even knows who I am at times... but every now and then he will do something funny and I get a glimpse of his old self! I am grateful for those little glimpses.

I am so blessed to have such a great husband. These last few weeks have SO trying for me. As I have mentioned before I have not been good at doing anything. I have not been cooking, cleaning, I have been moody, weepy, and just depressed. Brandon has been so wonderful though. He bought me a very large GORGEOUS winter bouquet of flowers! Pictures to come. Last night, he gave me the David Archuleta Christmas Album!I have been listening to it all morning. I needed something good to listen to. I have not been in any kind of Christmas mood but hopefully this lovely cd will help! I love my husband and am so grateful to be sealed to him for all eternity! He is an amazing man!